


Derry Shenanigans

by Cybuddharf



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Murder Mystery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22241341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cybuddharf/pseuds/Cybuddharf
Summary: Something weird is happening in the Derry universe. Stay tuned to find out more.
Relationships: Beverly Marsh/Pennywise, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

The rain pounded against the window and Eddie screamed.

‘This rain reminds me of that clown’ Eddie murmured

‘Ok boomer’ exclaimed Ben with a plunger in his hand

Pennywise walked out of the closet with a bag of raw chicken thighs

‘Dinners here’ he shouted

All the kids ran into the bedroom, their mouths full of drool

‘How’re we cooking this?’ questioned Beverly

‘Over an open fire of course’ replied pennywise

Pennywise turned into a kitchen hob

‘There’ he exclaimed ‘now someone turn me on’

Everyone applauded at this innuendo

Stanley’s head rolls into the room

‘Hey guys I have no oesophagus so I can’t come to this dinner’

Stanley rolls back out of the room

The smell of cooked chicken thighs and lynx Africa spray starts to fill the room

Just as they’re about to bite into the thighs the sound of a slow applause starts to permeate the room

‘Well well well who do we here’ says a mysterious voice

Everyone gasps in shock as Beverly’s dad walks in a white tuxedo slowly pulling out a pistol

‘Die’ he shouts as pulls the trigger

Nothing happens

‘What’s going on’ he shouted as he tried to reload

‘Not today bitch boy’ says pennywise as he morphed from the gun into a black hole

5 minutes later

‘Good thing we didn’t die’ says Mike ‘well apart from the dad’

‘Yeah about that’ says Richie

Everyone looks down and sees Richie is missing his legs

‘Ah well’ exclaimed Bill ‘more for the barbeque ‘

The author snorted the last of her cocaine

‘This’ll go great for my readers’ She said

‘Yeah this’ll be great from them as Gordon Ramsey somersaults out the room

Suddenly there’s a loud crashing noise as someone enters the room

‘So, this is where it gets complicated’ exclaims Georgie holding a red balloon

To be continued

Next edition: Author, Gordon Ramsey and Georgie visit Oklahoma


	2. Chapter 2: Ligma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that all the members of the Loser club are currently children

The balloon Georgie was holding expanded until it swallowed each of them.   
‘We’re floating’ shouted Georgie as there was a bright red light and suddenly, they were in Oklahoma  
‘Cool’ exclaimed George  
‘Cool’ explained the author  
‘I am in constant pain’ exclaimed Gordon Ramsey  
‘Ok let’s go’ said Georgie and they were suddenly swallowed up by the balloon again. 

As her eyes adjusted to the new environment, the author saw herself in a giant cavern and immediately noticed 2 things  
First, Kermit’s corpse on the ground  
Secondly, the W from a Walmart sign

Welcome to my Cave of ‘Si hoc legere nolite tuum diligemus sanitatem reducamus fanfiction’ boomed a voice from the north eastern direction. 

A giant floating head was in the room… floating

‘I am Ligma and I need your help’

‘The whole multiverse is kept stable by 7 stones. By being kept here secure in my cavern, alongside my brothers: Sugma, Fitma and Sugondese, they prevent the destruction of all the universes. Unfortunately, last week my UPS driver took all my stones after mistaking them for a tip. The stones are now all lost in different universes but since I can’t leave this cavern, I request your help’

‘What do I get out it’ asked the author

‘I’ll give you a Twinkie bar’ offered Ligma

‘With or without cream’ asked the author

‘However you like it’ he winked

‘Deal!’

‘This will be dangerous though’ said the author

‘That’s why we are here’ exclaimed a clowny voice from a dark corner

Pennywise and all the losers club did a slo mo walk towards the centre of the stage

‘Great’ said Ligma now were all assembled

‘Unfortunately,  
we are not the only ones after the infinity stones, sorry I meant the normal plot-based stones’

‘This conversation is getting a bit too meta’ mumbled Gordon Ramsey under his breath

Ligma continued ‘unfortunately Bev’s dad survived his death and is now after the stones with his army of homosexual Minions’

‘Nani!?’ shouted Pennywise

‘This will be very dangerous so I will get you all to split up with these worthy guardians I have brought from the multiverse. Alright everyone get in these groups:

Team 1= Eddie, the author and Gordon Ramsay

Team 2= Bill and Optimus Prime

Team 3= Beverly, Pennywise and Waluigi

Team 4= Ben, Master Oogway and Siri

Team 5= Mike and the shark from Jaws (currently in a water tank)

Team 6= Richie and Cthulu

Team 7= Stanley’s head and a zebra (gender fluid)

Georgie-bot will take you into the different universes and will collect you in one month. ‘Good luck’ said Ligma ‘and may the odds be ever in your favour’

Next edition: Bill and Optimus Prime participate in the Hunger Games


End file.
